Exercise guru Richard Simmons cited for assault

the extremely annoying and equally saucy bitch, Richard Simmons has lost control.

here’s how it went to down. some hilarious guy at the airport pointed Dicky S out and said, “Hey, everybody. It’s Richard Simmons. Let’s drop our bags and rock to the ’50s.”

normally i’m not a big fan of celebrity harassment, but he’s not a celebrity.

anyway, upon receiving this comment into his eardrum, Ricardo bitchslapped the man back to Gate 35A, and calmly boarded the plane in his chicken suit.

Porn model sought fame, found death

let this be a lesson to all of you considering a full-time porn occupation. DO NOT get involved with Philly porn. the National Porn Industry rates Philadelphia as the 2nd most dangerous city in America for pornstars to work, behind perennial #1, Dayton, Ohio.

“At Frederick’s apartment, police found a chilling handwritten poem - its author unknown - that read: ‘Cut with a knife, blood does flow/You may bleed out, death coming on slow…’ .”

i’m pretty sure those lyrics show up on at least 2 NWA albums and one barry manilow song.