if you’re anything like me, you’re sitting there wondering “who the hell is McFadden & Whitehead? Should I care? Did they kidnap my child or something?”

the answers to those questions are “the best musicians ever”, “yes”, and “yes, lil Bobby’s body is in the woods near Willis Park”

visual evidence:

fun facts about mac ‘n’ dubs:

-soon after Otis Redding discovered them, he died. reminds me of that weird murderous gay love triangle the guy from Hogan’s Heroes had a while back.

-they played some song back in the 70’s or something. the 1970’s i think.

-whitehead spent some time in the Big House in the 80’s for tax evasion. during the trial, there were rumors that he made underage pornography, but it turned out they were midgets

the point is, if you want to book them for your granddaughter’s wedding, father’s bar mitzvah, or various hoe-downs, please contact the Richard De La Font agency

they sincerely appreciate any assistance or funds you can give them.

Too drunk to drive, man hands keys to 14-year-old

uh, so this drunk dude decides to let his “female companions” take the wheel. the problem is, they’re 14 and 10.

the problem isn’t with them drinking and/or driving.

THE PROBLEM IS that it was after midnight on a saturday, and this joker is in his car drunk and drinking with 14-y-o and 10-y-o girls?

he said he was “teaching them how to drive”………

Study questions effectiveness of teenage `virginity pledges’

i’m not going to question the reasons as to why anyone would publicly pledge to be a virgin till marriage, but assuming someone actually did, you’d think they’d focus on remaining faithful to themselves and their future partners and not going out and having lots of sex.

their eventual apathy appears to be an attempt to correct their ridiculous vows, which is hope once again that virtues have no place in this world.

*sings*
you don’t win friends with virtues, you don’t win friends with virtues, etc…

Police: Woman Tried to Pass Fake $1M Bill

there are few things that bring such joy. this wonderful lady from “Jojah” has rekindled my love for mankind.

let’s see what she could’ve purchased with that bad boy:

1. 178,571 lobster hats (bar/bat mitzvah favors)

2. 60,277 500-ml bottles of MacNut Oil

3. 2,223 medical premium splash-resistant gowns

4. macaulay culkin’s sweet love for 57.33 hours