i’ll tell you what’s wrong with the electric car:

they’re butt ugly.

whether or not that’s intentional by oil companies or what isn’t really the point, but it seems like a simple problem to fix.

obviously we’re being gassed by the companies who want to charge your broke ass $2.25 a gallon.

see?

“The Web’s Most Trusted Source for Discount Botox”

Colorado Officials Consider Immortalizing Outhouse

Colorado keeps finding new ways of impressing me. First it was the Ramseys, then it was the Colorado football orgies, and now it’s this. What other state would so “uniquely” commemorate its history by historically preserving an outhouse? not only will it become the lamest tourist attraction since that ball of twine crap, but the taxpayers get to shell out for it, too.

Man and mother thought they were in LA; were actually in Utah

i’ve actually read this article a few times, and it still makes no sense. i cannot fathom how 2 people, seemingly sane, can accidentally drive themselves 450 miles in some random direction….and not know it.

they didn’t give an explanation as to why these people were so very screwed up, but details are coming in. the pair said that they were approached in LA around 4:32pm and directed by a parrot to “Follow me. NOW.”, after which, they were led all the way to Utah before the bird relieved itself on their car and flew away laughing.

Ghost Town - Some Russian Chick’s Motoride Around Chernobyl

i highly recommend you click on the link above and take the cool photonarrative tour this chick published on the web.

she takes a camera, a clearance pass, and a motorcycle to the site around chernobyl while commenting on the whole thing.

it’s pretty interesting seeing as she has legit insight into both russian culture and radiation

her broken but good english makes the whole thing even better. plus she’s a good storyteller, unlike E.B. White. barf.

Oldversion.com

“Established 1845 in Lancaster County, PA by Amish goatherders”

Lest we forget all that happened in Sheldo’s past?

< << Shelden Williams

Naughty, naughty!

Two basketball players accused of rape

Qwest makes family pay accidental $2,500 phone bill

the only thing worse than a giant faceless corporation is a giant faceless corporation that blindly sticks to rules for the sake of a few measly dollars. this family was using an AOL phone number that was in their area code, but since they used a “1″ in front of the number, they were charged for a toll call on every single minute they left AOL running.

the most ridiculous part is, they told the dad they’d knock the bill to $100, then $500, but then came back demanding the full $2,500

Stranger shoves 7-year-old into creek

it’s good to see Oprah’s Army out actively performing random acts of violence. so far, the cult’s path of destruction has included 4 creek-shovings, 53 fresh-pie-ganks, and 27 stapled-together-pigeons.

it’s time we take a stand against this ruthless force. if we don’t, we shall soon find ourselves and our great-great-grandparents dead in the cold, cold ground

so we showed up, blah blah blah, dios came on.

that’s all i have to say about dios.

stars is one of those bands that you’re like “i know they have a niche market somehow, but i just don’t see it.” just a regular band with a chick singer splitting time with a “banshim” (an extremely annoying, wailing wuss).

i think i fell asleep during stars’ set, or someone put a hood over my head or something, cause i sure don’t remember much about them, even though they were being very loud and bright about 15 feet away from me for 45 minutes. but anyway, stars sounds like what you’d expect a toronto art-rock band to sound like, but slightly lamer. if you picture the band walking on a tightrope, and falling to one side would be pop fodder and falling to other side would be experimental atmosphere jams, stars would slip on the rope and fall but get stuck and hang by the big goofy belt buckle on their shoes. you could do a lot worse though, trust me.

as for broken social scene live, you get the feeling that they could play any number of 1000 cool songs and you’d be impressed, and it’s their way of slapping you in the face with a white glove by only playing a dozen or so. from what i can recall, they played kc accidental, pacific theme, looks like just like the sun, and cause = time, among a few others. at the end, they played some song called “canada vs. america”. it wasn’t that great. BSS has that quality of a band that we appreciate most in that it can play together as if it were two twins playing pattycake in the womb. they’re all very together, even when they’re not paying attention, which is scary, cause that’s natural talent that most people in the world lack. the chick from stars sang with them some, and she did a pretty good job, but she didn’t have the fiery self-hotness that Emily Haines typically brings.

the venue, the charming Middle East in Cambridge, was roughly 145 degrees Fahrenheit during the show, making it the record hottest temperature any Canadian has ever survived. the sidestage was crowded, the audience was jam-packed, the stage had about a dozen people/instruments on it at any given time, but it was still cozy. cozy like a gorilla’s armpit. but it was easily worth it because of the clever, soothing melodies of broken social scene and the amusing antics of my friends, getting thrown out and whatnot.

bands like this don’t come along too often, so not only should you all feel bad for missing out on seeing them, but you should purchase coachella tickets immediately so redeem yourselves.

broken social scene spreads butter and jam all over your punkass toast