The recipe for Hidalgo:

2 tbsp of The Mummy
1 cup(s) of Seabiscuit
3 fl. oz of Gladiator

Stir and mix into bowl. Let simmer for 1-2 minutes until previews reveal everything.

Put on stove and heat at 450 degrees for 5 minutes until you:

-notice that the most interesting character in the movie is a falcon
-discover that a horse can run many thousands of miles in ridiculous heat and pain
-realize that viggo mortensen IS ed harris.

Hidalgo is one of those movies that makes you keep going back to the concession stand again and again just to entertain yourself by wondering what you could have missed while you were gone. but then you get back into your seat and you start to think that time is actually going in reverse, and that you’re LESS into the plot than you were 5 minutes ago.

if you’re a big fan of animated leopards and puerto rican actors playing arabs, then this is the movie for you. let it be written, Hidalgo is NOT the worst movie ever.